Last Tuesday through the early hours of Wednesday, we were dumped upon with approximately 25cm or 10 inches of snow. Although beautiful to look at, this meant I had a fair amount of shoveling to do. Folks, I don’t like any form of precipitation that I have to lift and throw into piles and banks.
And so it has begun.
Long story short, by Thursday I was in excruciating pain, home alone with Salem and Niekah. The Bear was delayed while traveling and so I was left to my misery. Friday saw me checking in and out of this world, crying and screaming murderously because of my lower back. And so, joy of joys, my first ambulance ride to a local hospital. I could barely walk or think.
Presently I’m on narcotics and anit-inflammatory pills. The pain has eased quite a bit, but I’m still exhausted and I have to be extra careful. Within a few weeks I should be going for a back scan in order to determine whether there is any serious damage anywhere.
Strangely enough, after 20 years of hard labor, planting 200 pound trees, moving landscape rocks, bending and stretching in planting and weeding, shoveling 0.3/4 inch gravel for the better part of days, or laying palettes of sod, you would think that I would be used to this type of pain and aggravation. Even though I haven’t worked for a year and a half, just keeping up with the outside work and my almost daily walks with the pooch means I’m still in pretty good form. Perhaps herein lies the problem.
I know I have over-stretched and taxed certain body parts, ligaments and muscle groups, but this pain was on an intensity level unprecedented for me. Writhing in pain, sobbing, stuck in a position, unable to turn, move or adjust, literally begging for mercy just isn’t my style. I have known that my labors have caused me injuries, and I have adapted and adjusted accordingly, or so I thought, but I guess I have been living under false impressions. Reality check. Extremely painful reality check!
So now, here I sit, a bit buzzed, still really tired, used to chronic pain (from my neck injury) wondering, what’s next? More importantly, what will the test reveal? How much more and in what ways will I have to reconsider and revamp my life and choices? Clearly I have been living in denial all this time, innocently believing that I couldn’t have possibly done serious damage to myself during all these years of hard work and, if I’m honest, punishment. So, I wait and I’m coping, trying to be careful, extremely aware and tuned in to my body – posture, strains, aches, and how it is I’m moving, and I wonder – what now?
This has been one hell of a wake up call – and I’m not sure I’m appreciating the life lessons I have been called to notice and now, accept.